Fiona Murray
Feb 5, 20203 min
1. Act Out of Character
Couples develop a particular
dynamic: the way they relate to
each other that repeats itself
over and over. If you break that pattern and act against
type — in a positive way — you inject new life into the
relationship.
2. Get in Touch a Lot
No doubt you hug and kiss
each other hello and maybe
snuggle a little after having
sex. But simple acts like stroking their arm while you're
watching TV, taking their hand when you're walking
down the street, or fondling their thigh during dinner are
also ways to bond. Touching your partner throughout
the day triggers your feel-good hormones, which reinforces
your affection and makes you feel closer on an
instinctive level.
3. Don't Be BFFs
Being pals with your partner is
great in theory. But that kind of
connection actually can kill your
sex life. You could wind up having a roommate like bond
with each other rather than a hot one if you let yourself
lose track of the tension that excited
you at the beginning of your relationship.
4. Enjoy a Steady Diet of Sex
If you want to maintain
closeness get out of your head and
into bed.
To strengthen your bond, approach your lust life as you would
your gym regimen or your diet — make it part of your routine.
. Take Turns Talking
To make sure you both get a
chance to state what's on your
mind during a disagreement —
and get your points across — alternate playing reflective
therapist, where one listens while the other talks.
6. Find the Intersection
When making decisions
together, try to find common
ground. You each
should write down exactly what you want. Let's say
you're angling for a holiday in San Francisco to see the
sights and hit up the cool shops and restaurants, while
they want a tropical getaway where they can veg out by
the pool and sip drinks with umbrellas in the glass. Now
that your desires are clearly laid out on paper, you can
pick a place that will satisfy both your needs.
7. Be More Positive Than Negative
There's a more effective
way to air
grievances than to
file an angry complaint. Sandwich your negative comment
between two positives. If you want to complain
about how he's always late, for example, try something like "You know, I love that you're so laid-back and easygoing,
but it really bothers me when you show up so late.Maybe we can work out together what to do next time ? "
8. Echo Each Other
When you and your partner are
having a serious relationship
talk, it's easy to get so caught
up in how you want to respond that you're not really
listening to what's being said. That's why it's important
for both of you to repeat each other: so you know you've
been heard and you feel understood.
9. Grow Your Tolerance
Neither of you is perfect, and
the quirks you both have are
here to stay. So rather than
let those annoying traits work your last nerve, try to
get in touch with the upside of those particular flaws,
even if it's not immediately recognisable. Instead of
getting annoyed when they start screaming at the TV,
for example, remind yourself how much you love their
passion. Or if their shyness with new people bugs you,
think about how refreshing it is to be with a chill,
genuine person rather than a blowhard who needs to chat
with everyone in the room.
10. Take a Time-Out
It's important that you
get a break from the
daily grind and spend
alone time as a couple — cell phones and the Internet
are off-limits. It can be a fun day trip or just a few
quiet hours to yourselves. The point is simply to steal
away (even if you're going nowhere) so you can reconnect,
free of any distractions.